This year, I have had the chance to experience a full swing of emotions..

Anger- over the church magazine

Disappointment- over “blah blah”

Anxiety- climbing the corporate ladder

Loneliness- when my best friend left town and ‘blah blah”

Sadness- when I under-perform at work, since he left

Exhilaration- when I go scuba diving and plan my sky diving trips

Happiness- new friends at work, boss’ trust.

Exhaustion- spending too much time at work, holidays, business trips.

So that basically sums all out. I had dinner, desserts, and a good talk with a friend Monday evening.

It had me thinking and talking about the problem I had at work.

I said I could play ‘the game’ at work, and play it well and yet I don’t want to.

I said I loved living the high life, yet I don’t want to, cos I will need to stop being myself. Or at least try to do things I normally wont.

I said I want to be a top designer, and yet I always tell myself im not good at all.

I said I am thankful my bosses are giving me many chances to perform, yet I don’t fully embrace the chances for fear of messing up.

I think im over-confident, and that makes me have low self esteem and confidence.

The list goes on forever. The conflict needs to end. I remind myself every day, to snap out of it.

Will keep trying. I pray things get better. I had a good week at work, with nothing much to do.

Email, blog, print a few documents, sketch furniture, watch the new Korean F4 drama, play ninja games at work, attend senseless meetings with supplier, engage in small talks with important people in the office, reading friends’ blogs, plan my diving trip, tuned to flight fares, etc…

I am thankful for the trip to shanghai with my bro and mom. J the weather was great! Around 1- 7 degree celcius. Winter wear is fun and nice as usual. J

Jodi Chen

HIRSCH BEDNER ASSOCIATES-SINGAPORE

700 BEACH ROAD #02-00 SINGAPORE 199598

DID: +65 63934546